Anal Sex: How to Convince Your Partner

Anal sex is a touchy subject and one that when it is brought up, may be followed by an emphatic “no way!” Anal sex, however, can be a very pleasurable experience for all parties involved. How does one broach the subject of anal stimulation?

For the woman, anal sex can add another exciting level to her sexual experience. How can you convince her of this? First of all, you must be prepared to spend some time slowly working into it. Anal sex is not very comfortable if you just go straight to penetrating the anus with your penis. (Most importantly, you should never just put your penis in her anus without her approval—this could end any chance you may have had in getting her to try it because without lubrication and preparation, injury can occur)

Working anal stimulation into your sexual encounters over the course of multiple lovemaking sessions is the best way to start. Begin with gentle anal stimulation (rubbing, touching, kissing) and working your way to penetration (with lubrication, of course). Slowly trying first the tip of a finger, then one finger, then maybe an anal sex toy, working up to using the penis.

Try these ideas for introducing anal sex:

When performing oral sex, cup her buttocks with your hands and squeeze and fondle them. Slowly working your way towards the crack of her bottom.

When using your fingers around her vagina, have them wander around her anus. The heightened sensitivity from oral sex will help make this a pleasurable experience. You can even pay special attention to her anal area with your mouth. If you are comfortable, let your tongue wander downward from her clitoris to her anus. (Remember that if fingers or toys are inserted into the rectum should not be inserted into the vagina.)

If she responds positively to this extra stimulation, then you know that you are on the right track and can proceed with using your finger around her anus. You can put your finger on her anus and apply some pressure. With some lubrication (spit works fine for this) you can try putting the tip of your finger inside. Try doing this when you are having sex in the “Cowgirl” position, when you have easy access to her bottom with your hands.

This pre-play is important for the woman. It gives her a chance to realize and become comfortable with the increased stimulation and excitement she gets from touch around her anus. This awareness can lead to more interest in anal stimulation during sex, and eventually, interest in having anal sex.

All of this should be done with extra attention paid to her reactions. Stop if she responds negatively in any way. If she feels like she is being forced to do something she doesn’t want to do, she may never let you near her back door again.

If she responds positively to these things, you can move onto the next step: penetration. It is important to remember that the anus does not make it’s own lubrication! You must use a lubricant at this point. See our Top 10 Anal Sex Tips and Top 5 Most Common Anal Sex Positions for useful information that will make your first anal sex experience the best it can be!