Masturbation: Enhancing Partnered Sex and Improving Sexual Health

On a past episode “Sex, Porn and Secrets” from her Oprah Network show In the Bedroom, Dr. Laura Berman talked with Karen and John, a couple who–for years–had shared wonderful sex together.  As life became more stressful, however, the frequency of their partnered sex began to wane until John revealed his concern that he may have a porn and masturbation addiction.  He was masturbating alone and had been keeping it a secret.

This episode touched on many of the topics featured in the Sinclair Institute® DVD A Lover’s Guide to Self Pleasuring:

• Overall communication about what feels good to you, so you can educate your partner
• Mutual masturbation
• Watching adult videos together as a couple in order to open communication and increase intimacy

Contrary to popular misconception, masturbation doesn’t have to be a replacement for sex with your partner, but it can be another kind of sex that’s unique, one that can enhance your relationship.  Masturbating both alone (solo sex) and together (mutual masturbation) can, in fact, lead to better sex with your sweetie.

In A Lover’s Guide to Self Pleasuring, Eli Coleman, Ph.D., of the Sinclair Institute® Advisory Council, referred to a study which demonstrated that satisfied, sexually functional couples masturbated more often than did dissatisfied or sexually dysfunctional couples.  Along with Coleman, researcher and sexologist Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., R.N., F.A.A.N.–another Advisory Council member and perhaps my greatest professional hero–narrates this film, discussing some of the benefits of and myths about masturbation.

Whipple is also one of the authors of an excellent, reader-friendly summary of the research about physical and mental health benefits of sexual activity, including masturbation, “Health Benefits of Sexual Expression.”

Benefits of sexual expression may include…

• More regular menstrual cycles and relief of menstrual cramps
• Improved immune response, sleep, physical fitness and health
• A more youthful appearance

Sexual activity is associated with increased…

• lifespan
• pain tolerance
• fertility
• overall satisfaction with life, sense of well-being, self-esteem and feelings of personal happiness
• feelings of intimacy, affection, and relationship satisfaction
• spiritual insight and satisfaction

Sex and masturbation are positively correlated with reduced…

• risk of heart disease, stroke, and type-2 diabetes
• migraine symptoms
• risk of breast cancer and endometriosis
• risk of prostate cancer and non-bacterial prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate)
• likelihood of preterm delivery, pregnancy-induced hypertension, pre-eclampsia and eclampsia during normal pregnancies
• likelihood of experiencing vaginal atrophy or excessive vaginal dryness after menopause
• need for psychiatric medications
• depression, violence, suicidal tendencies, and suicidal attempts
• feelings of stress and anxiety

Masturbation no longer needs to be something to be ashamed of.  Whether or not you are partnered or single, you can enjoy your masturbation practice, knowing that it can benefit both you and–if you have one–your partner and your relationship as well.  I know that when my husband and I are both masturbating regularly we each feel better, and the sex we share together is better, too.

Of course, if you are changing your sexual activity in a significant way, please consult your doctor to make sure there aren’t any reasons why you should avoid it.  But in general, sexual activity can be as important to your physical and mental well-being as healthy food, exercise, and a good-night’s sleep.

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